ICE CREAM
Mr. Dixit was searching for his shaving kit. Instead he found a box
that contained old keys. He had been searching them for a long time but failed.
Now while he was searching for something else he found that. So he put that in
his bag too. He found some other useful things too and put them in his bag. He was
busy packing. He had to pack everything and he had just begun.
After 3hours when he was satisfied that he had almost packed everything,
he put the small chest on top of everything else.
He was thinking of opening it, but something stopped him. So he let it go. While
the driver was loading his things, he took out his wallet to pay him. He looked
at the picture of at the most beautiful girl in the world that he had preserved
for almost 60years now. Now that he was retired and his beloved wife had left
him recently, his son had asked him to stay with his family.
Mr.dixit was in pain and he thought it would be better if he stayed with
his son. He knew someday he would have to leave, but never like this. A lot of
things were going through his mind on his way to his son’s.
In the 72 years of his life, he had thought to
do lot more but some wishes are never fulfilled. That was life. And he had
dealt with it. He took out his wallet and looked at the preserved picture. He
had met his wife Siya when they both were 12years old. High school sweethearts,
college sweethearts and finally married.
Their only son was well settled, married to a lovely girl and the father
to an angel. She must be about 11years old now. Everything was perfect except
the fact that his wife left early when they had promised to die together. Ugly
truth.
When he landed, his son and daughter in
law were waiting to pick him up. They saw him and smiled. Just as he was going
to them, a girl came running to him. At first Mr.dixit was shocked, and then
his eyes lit up. It was his granddaughter, the spitting image of her
grandmother.it occurred to him that he last saw Lily, his granddaughter about
four years ago and that she hadn’t come to siya’s funeral due to health issues.
When he hugged lily, he remembered the
first time he met his wife. She was standing on the road, frustrated and was
kicking her cycle. He was returning from school and saw her. She looked really
cute with that smug expressio0n on the face, at least to him. And he stopped to
help him. That night he had thought of the situation as “the knight who saved
the damsel in distress” and later they had laughed about it when he told her
some years later. The very first day he had known that she wasn’t just a girl,
but someone who is going to be valuable, and he had been right.
He went with them and on the way lily
kept talking to him, about her school, friends, pet (a goldfish named gold) and
a sweetheart she was. Siya also used to talk and talk a lot. He enjoyed
watching her expressions when she talked. Now too, he was looking at her face. It was a
nostalgic moment. When they reached home, he went to the room that was prepared
for him. He took out his wallet and looked at siya’s picture, his eyes pinched
and tears rolled down from his eyes. It was going to be painful, very painful
indeed. Lily came to her room and asked what was wrong; he said it was just an eye
infection.
Every day, he would watch lily and be
reminded of Siya. Not only their face were same, but their habits too. Lily
always made a face when she saw fish, just like Siya. Fish used to be Mr. Dixit
favorite, but he left it the day he realized she hated it. It wasn’t only Mr.
dixit who took all the pain, even Siya, who didn’t know how to cook before
marriage, turned out to be an excellent cook by taking lessons when she
realized he was a foodie. These little things bound them together.
Now he was taken back into time. It
pained him a little harder each day. He eyes would be damp each night. But he
went on. He would often walk lily to her school and play badminton with her
(she would bring her fish out to ”watch” the game), which was siya’s favorite
game too, even they had played badminton till the age of 67, but it was never a
match since they were never against each other.
Sometimes, his daughter in law would
scold lily for something and he would act as a shield, all this made their bond
very tight. He would read to her and buy her small gifts like he used to do for
Siya. He talked to Siya every night after the day she passed away. He told her
what he did throughout the day and how
much he missed her and would then try to sleep thinking that she was stroking
his hair as she always did till her end.
Spring was over, so was summer. Came the
rains, siya’s most loved season. She used to sit by the window for hours with
him watching rainfall. In younger days, they used to get drenched and then
would go for ice cream. But health didn’t permit when they grew old. So
drenching was replaced by watching, ice cream by coffee and pastries, on
occasions they would have a scoop of ice cream. But the warmth did never
decrease a bit.
One day he was walking lily home from
school when she urged to have ice cream. He gave her a cone and then she said
she won’t eat until he did. Ice cream was something he had left the day Siya
died. But the kid wouldn’t understand, so he said if he had ice cream, he would
fall sick so he won’t. Lily simply went to the garbage bin and threw her cone.
Turned back and said, “I won’t have it unless you get well and join me. So ask
me for ice cream the day you will have it with me”. He had smiled then.
That night, he said to Siya, “do you
know what our angel did today? She threw him ice cream just because I didn’t have
it with her. She is stubborn, just like you.” And then he had cried till he
fell asleep.
Often he would think why god was cruel
and hadn’t given him death yet. Life without his love was empty. He missed her
too much and her absence was too much to live with. He had decided he would ask
that to god when he would be face to face with him.
A few days later, when he was returning
from his morning walk, he saw lily crying. Her face was all red, eyes swollen
and eyes wet. When lily saw him she ran to him and cried harder. He panicked,
“what’s wrong lily? What happened?”
“Grandda… gold….” And then she cried
again.
“gold?”
“Gold died” and she cried again…
After a few minutes he realized that
gold was her goldfish’s name.
“I am so sorry sweetheart.”
And then he held her till her crying
stopped. He then asked her…
“Why don’t we go and buy you another
fish?”
But she had stubbornly replied… “No! No
one can ever replace gold. I won’t ever keep a fish again.”
That afternoon, he saw lily digging a
hole in the garden. He went to her and asked, “May I help you in something that
you are doing?”
“I am digging a grave for gold grandda. It’s
time to say goodbye to her. And I would like to do it myself, but thank you for
asking.”
“So why are you digging in the middle of
the garden?”
“You are so silly grandda… I am doing it
so that sometimes when she wants to visit us, she could watch me playing as she
did every day. I cannot bind her to me because I have heard if I bind her to
me, she won’t be able to let go and live her afterlife. But when she wants, she
can visit. I will always have her memories to live with”
Mr.dixit didn’t say a word, but went to
his room. That day he skipped dinner. Thought a lot over what the child had
told him and taught him unknowingly. But was he ready yet? And he decided that
he had to be.
That night he talked to Siya,” my love,
the day I saw you the first time was the day I started living my life. I have
loved you from the day I understood love, and I will until I take my last
breath. You are my definition of love. Of the numerous times we fought, made
up, cried, smiled, laughed, loved, I had lived life to the fullest. Each moment
was full of life and a memory to be cherished. You were the woman every man
could only dream of, and you gave me the extraordinary honor to be your life
partner. But see what I did to you, I didn’t let you be at peace, kept you tied
to me. It was may be because I thought if I let you go, there would be nothing
left in my life, but our angel taught me that I had your memories to live with.
I can see you in her. All of you. So it’s time to let go honey. It’s the last
time I am talking to you. I know you will always look over me. I love you with
all my heart, forever and always. Goodbye my love, my only love…”
He didn’t cry that night, but slept
peacefully. The next morning, he went to lily,
“Can we go out for ice cream?”
She turned and smiled.
