"Joy come back! don't go there" called Sikha, when she saw her son going to the vendor who sold sugar candy. those were bad for him. but she knew he wont listen and she will have to buy him one. she couldn't look at his innocent face and deny him anything. the untouched smile he held was the world to her.
her son was eight years old now and she still saw him as the new born baby the nurse had handed her. coming back to India after twelve years was perhaps one of the best thing she did. Joy had been born and brought up in California but he had to know his roots. his dad always carried his motherland in his heart and kept telling him stories that at last he was adamant that he had to see all his dad kept telling him about. this summer Raj could finally take his time out and planned his vacation to India. the basic reason they hadn't visited India in such a long time was that Sikha didn't want to come here. but now it seemed worth it. her son's smile was worth everything.
"you want one of those?" she asked standing near him.
"yes" said Joy with a smile on his face..
"ye kitne ka hai bhaiya?" Sikha asked the vendor..
"bees rupey memsahaab"
"hum to ise panch rupay mein kharidte the... bahut saal ho gaye. ek de do"
"here you go sweetheart"
"thank you mommy. you are the best" exclaimed Joy.
"now lets go and search dad"
she found Raj shopping hand made craft. Raj, perhaps the most caring husband in the world. a man who loved her with his heart and soul. he never gave her a chance to complain about anything. whenever she saw him, she wondered that God had been very merciful on her. her life was complete.
"honey, how about we buy this as gifts for our friends back home?" asked Raj
she was going near him when she collided with someone.this keeps happening in Indian markets. its such a rush always that you cant avoid colliding. she turned to pick up her purse when she saw his face. its been 12years... but she could very well identify him. she didn't say a word and asked Raj to go.
that night she couldn't sleep.. his face had changed, it lacked the charm. but he was still handsome nonetheless. hadn't they collided the fist time they had met? in the same market place? god works in mysterious ways. she avoided coming here just because she didn't want to feel the pain again, and she landed up where it all begun.
the first time was on 14th January. 13years ago. strange how she still remembered the exact date! he was tall dark and handsome. a face that could melt any girl's heart. he had helped pick her bag of books that day. and they kept meeting again and again, maybe just by chance. he was smart, she was beautiful. it seemed as if they were predestined to fall in love. it was a heavenly feeling. she had never felt anything like this before. the world seemed a better place when he was around. he promised her of moon and stars and all the romantic things the world had. they had planned their whole life.. even decided the name of their grand children. it was funny and stupid but it brought smile on he face. life couldn't have been better than this. Deep was her dream come true...
and then everything changed. it was so abrupt that she couldn't understand what happened. one day Deep came to her and said "Sikha.. i am breaking up with you. i cant stand this any longer. there is no passion in our relationship and i want it to end"
"please don't joke like this Deep. you know how much i love you. please don't say like this"
"i am not joking. i am very serious. i have fallen in love with a girl who is so charming that i keep falling in love with her again and again. i want to spend my life with her. so lets end this"
it was a bitter poison. the moment she heard that he had fallen in love with another girl, she had nothing more to say. "you are free to leave" was all she said and left..
she kept thinking about him day in and day out. she thought maybe it was her fault that she had nothing to hold him back.maybe her love was not that strong. the pain never subsided. it kept burning her heart like an acid that fell in drops. sleep never came to her and she resorted to sedatives. even those didn't help. she kept looking at the pictures they had taken together and the promises they made. her life would never be the same again! only if she knew what she lacked! she would change herself to be with him again.. but after she saw him with a number of girls, she came to know that he was a playboy and nothing more. she was just another girl for her. her pain increased.
her parents couldn't see her in this state. one day her best friend Siya came to her and said she knew a person who could solve all her problems. Sikha didn't question anything and went with her. Siya took him to a rickety house that looked so fragile as if it will fall down any moment. inside the house was an old man. he looked as though he was hundred, bent, wrinkles all over his face.. very thin with white hair but a kind face. he asked, " what happened to you?"
his voice was steady unlike his stature. Sikha said nothing...
siya said "she was in.."
but the old man interrupted "i want her to speak. maybe you are her friend, but you can never share her pain"
Sikha cried on hearing his words. he stood there and said nothing, waited for her to calm down. at last she said all that happened.
the old man didn't interrupt her. when she was done, he asked. "what do you want now?"
"i don't know"
"do you want him back? do you want him to love you the way you want?"
"no! i want him to feel the pain i went through." said Sikha.
"you want him to feel the pain all his life?" asked the old man again..
"i love him, i cant see him in pain all his life. just for a few days."
"OK. i will make you a potion. you will have to make him drink it and he will fall in deep love with the first person who comes in front of him after he drinks it. make sure you are that person" said the old man. and then he added " its effects will fade in about a month. you sure that you don't want him for life?"
" no that would suffice. i don't want him to spend his life with me without his consent" said Sikha.
they waited till the old man made the potion. when they asked for his fees, he said " i am helping to mend a broken heart. that is my fees. stay happy and never tell anyone about this"
she came back and added the potion to a box of chocolates {his all time favorite} and asked siya to give it to him and make sure that he eats them. siya did as she was told and then Sikha came in front of Deep.
she didn't know what to expect.. all she saw was deep came to her, hugged her and cried. he cried like a child and sikha couldn't help herself. she cried too. after sometime deep said "i love you"
sikha didn't reply. in her heart she knew it wasn't deep who was saying all this, it was the love potion. they kept meeting each other everyday and deep said all the romantic and emotional things in the world. he never even looked at any other girl. he became like the legendary lovers but it was all fake. soon it will fade and life will be back to normal again. once or twice the thought of revisiting the potion maker came to her mind. she could keep him forever... but her conscience didn't allow her to do so.
one day she decided that it was time that she walked out on him. only ten days were left for the potion to fade. she had very less time. she packed her bags and left India. she had asked siya to post a letter after a week that she had written for deep.
the letter read..
dear deep,
i love you a lot. for the brief time when we were together. i felt such passion for you that i couldn't bear to live without you. i wasnt obsessed with you, but i wanted to bind you in my life with love and care. you fell in love with another girl, that was a tough blow and i can never recover from it. i had nothing to hold you back.. but then i saw you with a number of girls. the pain i underwent for you was unbearable... for once in life i wanted you to feel that pain, the helplessness of being in love.. that is why i made you drink a potion which i had mixed in the chocolates siya gave you that day, that made you fall in love with me. i left you unexpectedly so that you could feel what i had felt then. but do not worry, its effects will fade within a few days and the feelings that bind you to me will die away. i am going far away from all this because i have to start a new life. but you will always be in my heart and i will always love you. please forgive me for hurting you.
love,
Sikha
that had been the end to it... she moved to California and started over. within a few years she met Raj. even after knowing everything, he wanted to marry her. and she didn't deny. her new life was filled with happiness and Joy made the happiness ten folds. she knew her life was where her family was. and then she closed her eyes..
then next morning she found a letter on the doorstep of her parent's house where they were staying for the holidays.. her heart stopped beating. it was the handwriting she knew very well. she opened the letter... it read.
dear Sikha,
i was very happy to see your family at the market today. your husband seems like a very good man and your son is a very smart child. he has your eyes and smile. you look beautiful as ever. i was fighting with myself whether i should write you this letter or not, and finally i thought i should, at least for old times' sake. i tried to find you after you left like that, but i couldn't succeed. nobody knew where you went. but before that, i am truly very sorry that i gave you so much pain.. i am sorry that i put you through hell. you did the right thing by making me realize what pain was. i was a playboy.. many girls came and went but you remained in my heart forever. i couldn't bear when you left me and i realized that i deserved it. for all the girls i hurt, i deserved it. the day we met the second time, i was terribly heart broken by the girl thought i loved. she was just as fake as me. the first person i could think of that day was you. the way you loved me without any expectations.... that came to my mind and when i saw you looking at me, i couldn't hold my tears and i hugged you. honestly i had expected that you will slap me, but you accepted me as i was. we were together again and i thought god had heard my prayers. but nobody goes unpunished for the sins he committed. you left me and since then i have changed. i work for an orphanage and have an old age home too. spending my time with them gives me peace and might help to wash off my sins. you taught me what love was. and another thing, i don't know why you said about that potion, because i never had those chocolates. siya gave them to me, but i was so upset that i thew them right out of my window. anyways life has done justice to me. i am very happy for you. i always love you.
love
deep
Sikha folded the letter, went to Raj and showed him the letter. Raj held her tight and said "cry it all out."
i would steal a kiss
with your rose on my tombstone.
only if i had your love then...
i would steal a kiss
only if i had your love then...
